Anguish of Pamela

i'm a nobody to my love

i'm a loner to myself

i'm a brat to some kids

i'm a nerd to somebody

i'm a green object to myself

i'm a shopaholic to somebody

i'm a daughter to that lady and gentleman

i'm a peanut to everybody

i'm a sister to that missy and mister

i'm a friend to some

i'm a girlfriend to besties

i'm a joke to him

i'm a cell without battaries to wammy

i'm a speaker to someone

i'm a learner to teachers

i'm a magazine to readers

i'm a hushbrown to myself

i'm a clown to him

i'm a metal case to few

My desires are thwarted and life becomes too much for me, it's easy to reject life and pain it brings, easier to die than to live. It is an easy thing to adopt a philosophy of despair, to say, i mean nothing, nothing matters, i live only to die. Am i suppose to pull down those shades and quietly expire? He could be eluded but i choose not to. These changes in my life are getting me mad. The rhythm of death obsessed me with it's beat, a beat so regular, so pervasive, so inescapable that it made me living in a place of shadows in dark valleys.

pammy.

ps
A little something I ripped from a friend of mine, not really ripped cause I had her permission. Pamela's her name. Enjoy