Anguish of Pamela

i'm a nobody to my love

i'm a loner to myself

i'm a brat to some kids

i'm a nerd to somebody

i'm a green object to myself

i'm a shopaholic to somebody

i'm a daughter to that lady and gentleman

i'm a peanut to everybody

i'm a sister to that missy and mister

i'm a friend to some

i'm a girlfriend to besties

i'm a joke to him

i'm a cell without battaries to wammy

i'm a speaker to someone

i'm a learner to teachers

i'm a magazine to readers

i'm a hushbrown to myself

i'm a clown to him

i'm a metal case to few

My desires are thwarted and life becomes too much for me, it's easy to reject life and pain it brings, easier to die than to live. It is an easy thing to adopt a philosophy of despair, to say, i mean nothing, nothing matters, i live only to die. Am i suppose to pull down those shades and quietly expire? He could be eluded but i choose not to. These changes in my life are getting me mad. The rhythm of death obsessed me with it's beat, a beat so regular, so pervasive, so inescapable that it made me living in a place of shadows in dark valleys.

pammy.

ps
A little something I ripped from a friend of mine, not really ripped cause I had her permission. Pamela's her name. Enjoy

Dreams

Woke up hearing my own screams,
whose name was it...
that I've been screaming,
trying so hard to reach.

I don't think screaming would get the job done,or get the image of you out of my mind.
Image? What image...
Can't see a thing,didn't hear a voice
Except, maybe, the soft touch of your soul, driving me wild
I long, I crave, I desire...who?
Can't seem...
Can't tell...
Whiteness.Blank.

What gives

What am I to you
What are you to me
Suddenly I am afraid of losing you,
to the point of tears
What to give,to hear your whispers again,
and to see those sweet tears on your face
The image of you burned into my soul
I will carry you with me into darkness
Most desired darkness

Again

Out of the smoking ashes I rise again,like the eternal phoenix that I am.
Determined to dazzle and charm, with some form of tangible success, this time.

Anyway, what my blog will be, is merely an outlet for my creative juices.
Constructive criticism for my writings are welcome. Just make sure you have the bloody backing for what ever you dare accuse me of.

You know, I can't stress how much I hate being critiqued for being unoriginal by someone who tags with a name obviously ripped off a book and its movie. Still, I have not really gotten over the fact that I deleted his contact which I think was left there, cause I really would like a chance to take a shot at the guy's apparently overly inflated ego.
Oh well, I'm back. Enjoy what I have here for you.